In Love

 

I think it will end today,

It did, but started again.

Lying amidst the rotten romance

is nothing but inglorious pain.

 

I think tenacity was the key,

Targeted, but on a broken lock.

In the rusty air of deception,

lies the soul of eccentric shock.

 

I think she was the glorious life,

She was, but for an alien beau.

crushed into distorted wounds,

a life sits still, amid no clue.

 

I think I was in lucid love,

I was, but with a putrid heart

crying aloud in tender insomnia,

are dreams of future torn apart.

                                                                 –Rohit

Book review : Essays in love

Author : Alian De Botton

Nothing makes a man more vulnerable than love of a women. If you have ever been in love, wish to be in love or think about love like a normal human being, this book is for you.

Alian De Botton, through his experience in both philosophy and life has transformed a complex emotion into something accessible and entertaining. The book takes you through a full cycle of a love story, right from the first meeting to a mundane breakup, followed by a sensible acceptance of fate and new love. You would ask me, “How is this book different from numerous love stories that you find in book stores”? Well, the essence of the book doesn’t lie in the love story, but in the carefully constructed sentences and a rational explanation behind every emotion and that follows the story. And you can’t escape the humorous wit and sarcasm that Alian wraps his sentences into. If you are thinking of buying the book, instead of romance of fiction, you will probably find it in the philosophy section in a book store.

While the book provide certain explanations and rational thoughts behind every feeling, a lot is left on the readers discretion. Certain explanations may not make sense at all while the reader may find himself confused over a certain conclusions. Nevertheless the whole essence of the book lies in its ability to give the reader a food for thought in the realms of rationality. A small 200 page book is definitely a good bed time read.

“The irony of the situation was not lost on me – the lover comforting his beloved for the upset betraying him has caused her. “

“To have killed my self would have been to forget that I would be too dead to derive any pleasure from the melodrama of my own extinction.”

War of ideologies

Wikileaks released more than 92000 classified documents related to war in Afghanistan. Whether the release of these documents is legal or whether newspapers should publish these reports are the questions that the world will ponder upon in the near future. News of legal actions against the sources that aided the leaks may fill the newspapers headlines. These are precisely not the issues I would like to highlight through my write up. What bothers me though is the fact that these stories are a becoming a common phenomenon now a days. News such as Innocent murders, war crimes, tortures, fake shootouts fill headlines of our newspapers almost everyday and yet the humanitarian concerns related to these reports are seldom addressed. Look at the atrocities committed in Afghanistan. Look at the numerous innocent people killed. Who can provide a justification for ending these innocent lives? Look at the widows and orphans left behind to struggle without a wage earner. Can we ever end the resentment in their hearts? No one knows who they will hold the resentment against in the future. If someone among these wounded souls grow up to be a terrorist the world will leave no stone unturned to blame him. In putting the blame on these potential terrorists in the future, would we ever look at the circumstances that lead them to these actions? Nevertheless, it is possible that atrocities like these leave such an impression on ones mind that one is left with no option but to take a revenge. In a world where a small banter may promote resentment among people, how can a person afford to ignore such ignominies?

When question like these enter my mind, I just start wondering; Where are we heading towards? In the war against terror aren’t we sowing more terrorist seeds? I do not advocate an end to war against terror, but the fact that those who are willing to wage a war against terror should understand the sensitivity of their job. If a doctor fails to act responsibly during a surgery a patient may suffer an irrevocable damage. If an architect fails to responsibly perform his duties the cities may end up in a rubble. Its in the faith of responsibilities of professionals that this world is moving ahead. In our war against terror its exactly opposite that is happening. Those who happen to wage a war to save humanity on behalf of this world fail to act responsibly. However qualified they may be in statecraft or diplomacy, but they definitely lack a human touch behind their actions. I may be wrong here at pointing fingers at authorities but what I am sure about is that the end result of the actions is definitely not what it should have been.

What is required in such an action is a sensitivity to human emotions. A cliched phrase Prevention is better than cure fits perfectly into the situation. Inflicting a human being and then soothing the soars will not lead to any solution, It will just complicate the whole situation. How much we may proceed with building human right organizations, until and unless we put an end to these atrocities and build faith in people, we will not be able to achieve the desired results. The irony of the whole situation is that the highest authorities that govern us are at the forefront of these actions. In such a case, resentment and insurgency is nevertheless a path that people will adopt. If the authority fails to act responsibility, those who reach their breaking point will resent against the authority. Whether its terrorism or moist insurgency, the seeds somewhat lies in the crime against humanity. What we have ended up in is an infinite loop of never ending war. No one knows who started it. We detest terrorists because they commit crime against us. Terrorists detest us because somewhere there has been a crime committed against them. Who is right here? No one. Its just a war of ideologies being fought between a few groups and caught between these ideologies are innocent citizens waiting for at least one party to show restrain. And citizens are just waiting.

The excitement you can’t hide

“When everything on television looks like a Nirodh advertisement, things tend to become a little tricky”

Common sense is not so common, and when it comes to applying common sense in the most common situations, Murphy’s law takes over and turns it into a tricky maneuver. Common sense eludes us, more so after living in an undergraduate college hostel for 4 years and living alone, away from home for a long time. Freedom and a company of ‘not so prudish’ boys in adolescence changes our perception of obscenity, vulgarity and decency. What used to be a strict no no during the school days or a covert adventure of watching a late night Hollywood movie in a friends house, becomes an obvious everyday activity during the college days. Girls dancing in skimpy and flimsy bikinis on the beach, the situation which often signaled a warning to change the TV channel before anyone see’s us watching it, becomes a boring activity in the hostels after being exposed to much unrefined and uncensored stuff.  Covert secrets of human biology suddenly appear to be making sense. Boundaries between prudishness and curiosity start to dilute and a thin line that separated our cautiousness and sensibility from clandestine adventures tend to dilute. Kisses in a Hollywood movies fail to excite us anymore; bikinis on television seem like a normal dress and at times ‘no dress at all’ is normal too. Kiss is just another activity that grown ups do and so is fornication. Consummation of marriage is thing that people laugh at as nothing remains to be consummated by the time two people decide to get married!! Everything, yes EVERYTHING tends to look normal now.

But wait, don’t get carried away by your progress. Spare a thought for the place you grew up in, for the people you grew up with, especially your parents. The time when you took a dive into the new world of obviousness, you left a world of tradition and values behind and entered a time machine. While you were circling the world, exploring new opportunities, time seemed to stop in the place where you come from. While your perception of world and its objects changed in a fly, the definitions of censorship and obscenity remained the same back at home. While you are at home, watching a cleavage clan actress seducing her boyfriend still doesn’t fall in the acceptable boundaries. A kiss is still something that people don’t discuss or do in public, leave alone watching a movie where a kiss scene may pop up any time during the course. A kiss is still vulgar, doesn’t matter whether its passionate or casual and don’t ever think of debating on the issue that this is more like a casual greeting in western culture. Call it a cultural divide or a generation gap, it is like what it is and there is nothing much you can actually do about it. The only side effects are that you may land into perplexing situations at times, the situations that often help you remind the taste of embarrassment!!

The most common such situations are encountered while sitting in front of a TV. I have my sympathies with young generation. I believe its not just the generation gap that is to be blamed for such situations. After facing the examples of such incidents we get used to them. We realize when to act prudish and when to switch the channel just to show that we are the same old ‘mumma’s kid’. However songs, advertisements and channels on television leave no stone unturned to help you realize the undefined boundaries. If you find yourself in front of a TV with your parents and elders, just be ready to face some jittery moments. Even the best of actors can’t remain ignorant when the channels bombard them with explicit stuff. When a masculine man and a skimpy female plays with a packet of nirodh (The euphemism term used for Condoms), there is only so much you can do to ignore the add. After staring at walls for some time, it looks like walls are looking at you with disgust. I understand the necessity of such adds and applaud the efforts of NACO and similar agencies in bringing awareness on AIDS and other STD’s. Such adds once in a while make sense, but when everything on television looks like a Nirodh advertisement things tend to become a little tricky. We love mango drinks such as frooti or maaza, but when adds for drinks such as Slice are presented in a sexually explicit way with the concept of Aamasutra (a modified euphemism for Kamasutra, the hindi translation for the word for intercourse) and romance with mango, the novice drink takes the shape of a sex toy. When adds such as the add for lava mobile, where the cashier returns a Condom to a man in lieu of change appears on television, staring at your mobile phone becomes too difficult. You may be reading a novice message from a friend but now the device appears to be more like a porn device, more so after the word MMS is confused with something vulgar. And God forbids, if you have applied some deodorant or perfume on your body or clothes, the adds for Axe, Wild stone or any other deo may not bring you to climax, but will definitely bring your stay in room to a climax!! There is only so much ignorance that can be faked in front of the elders and now suddenly you find yourself smiling, looking at the add of IPill, thinking about the ignorance of two adults. (Read Sexing the Pill). Things will be fine for the people in advertisement after a dose of IPill but you will have to add another add in your database to fake an ignorance. Flavor was a word that was used for taste and food a decade ago. Now it means something different and you will never dare to eat harmless strawberries in front of elders after watching, 1 strawberry kya nahi kar sakti (Hindi translation for how exciting a strawberry can be!!). You get all these on so called family or prime time channels. Now don’t whet your appetite and stop thinking about Apples and chocolates.

The safest assumption that you can rely on right now is to switch to some benign channel. Benign channels? You will ask me what is that. I sympathize with you. There is nothing left as a benign channel on a television. Our news channels have an uncanny ability to turn the most simple material into a sensationally explicit material. The definitions of scandals is not the same anymore. Thanks to our news channels, the scandal is a near synonym for nakedness and sexuality. Thanks to these channels, Tiger woods and ND Tiwari are our idles!! You leave aside news channels for obvious reasons and switch to benign sops, where you find jewelery clad women in traditional houses and ideal rich businessmen of our society. The dialogs and ‘not so cunning drama’ will bore you to death and can only take you so far. These sops are filled with brilliant concepts of extra-marital and pre-marital affairs. There will always be a man in the scene who would have fornicated with every other women in the drama and not just the fornication, he would have conceived a child with each one of those women!! Admittedly, the complex plot of brothers and sisters falling into love with each other in these dramas is not so complex after you realize the complex truths in relationships and lust. In addition to a mundane projection of a shameless society, these dramas leave you with relationships so complex that you may need a Dijkstra’s algorithm to solve them!! After failing on news and drama channels you think of switching to music channels but everything about those channels makes the chill run down your spine. You never know what may pop up on these channels.

You are left with no choice but to either be on your toes to switch channel before anything embarrassing pops up on the screen or the best, never to watch the television with elders around in the vicinity.  There are only so many locations you will find to stare at. I don’t blame you for the situation. I don’t blame anyone else either. Its just what it is!! The freedom in hostel obscured the boundaries for you. A generation gap proved to be an icing on the cake and after all this, media added all the spice to ensure that whatever you do to ignore your explicit knowledge about human lust, there will always be something concealing your innocence. Its the excitement you can’t hide!!

Manage your reading

Do you ever find yourself aimlessly browsing through sites without knowing what you are trying to find? Do you ever get an irresistible urge to read something but you don’t really know what you want to read? Do you ever remember reading something really great a week ago but now when you want to refer to that article again, you can’t find it in your browsing history? There is no dearth of inquistive readers around us, but there are only a handful of people with potent reading habits. If you are one of those who like to read but often wonder aimlessly in your pursuits, here are some simple steps that you can follow to make your reading habits more efficient.

1. Organize your reading list: When I was a kid, I remember keeping a diary with me where I pasted newspaper cuttings for the articles that I liked. Life was simple in those days. There used to be a single newspaper delivered daily in the home and that was all I had to organize. Internet has made our life more complex. We find ourselves bombarded with a plethora of information. It takes some time to make sense of what to read and what not to read. Nevertheless with time we can often shortlist the sites or blogs according to our preferences. This list keeps on growing with time. How to manage it? Well if internet has made our life complex, it has also given us tools to simplify it. It is clumsy to keep a list of sites that you need to open every morning to browse your articles, more so when your list is growing daily. The best way to organize your articles is to have a single location where you can browse through all you want to read. RSS feeds is one such solution. RSS meaning really simple syndication is used to publish frequently updated works. Majority(Almost all good sites) of newspaper sites, blogs have RSS feeds facility. Subscribe to RSS (through google, yahoo or even your browser) and keep a list of your likings handy. If you rather like to keep the links to these sites on your blog or bookmarks do that. Having a list of things to read delivered to your desktop every morning is one thing that you would love to have!!
2. Maintain a list of to read: When you start paying attention to every reference and start organizing your reading list, a time will come when you are filled with loads of articles. If you have 600 articles in your RSS feed today morning there is no way you can read them all!! There are many ways to manage your ‘to read list’. You can star mark your articles or bookmark the link for later reference. You may browse through messages from your friends listing articles for you to read or you just browse through your browser history. Do whatever suits you. Here is one good way to manage your to read list. Once you have a specific habit of managing your to read list, you won’t annoy your friend, next time he asks you about the article he sent you a day before! Moreover, you will seldom rue on  missing something interesting that could have been read.
3. Pay Attention to references: We often come across beautiful articles, articles that make sense to us, articles that touch our lives and give us a food for thought. But often our reading ends where the article ends. Wait? Look beyond the articles. Most of the articles contain references such as the author, author’s personal blog or the site where this article was lifted from. Taking a minute to go through these references is the best way to get to more sources related to the article. If the article appealed to you, there is high probability that references will give you more to think about. e.g. I was reading this article Nine things successful people do differently. In the end there is a reference to author’s blog, author’s new release and author’s twitter id. Admittedly author’s blog is in my reading list now. A chain reaction of this sort is one of the best ways to converge your interests.
4. Be inquisitive: Well, if you have come this far and you already like reading, you probably already are inquisitive. Still if you are not, you can be now. Unlike the past where our life was limited by a few books and newspapers, life now is more dynamic. Every day thousands of writers enter into the arena, hundreds of books are published and lakhs of new blogs take birth. There is always something more interesting waiting for you. Be inquisitive, be open to ideas. Take time to browse through shared items of your friends, browse Facebook status of friends for articles they are reading, browse online book stores such as amazon or flipkart to learn about new arrivals. Go to book stores or libraries and browse loads of shelves there. Take a moment to browse through magazines in a magazine store when you go shopping next time. Never mind if you cannot buy each book that you see in the shop or online store. Keep a wishlist. Next time you have an irresistible urge to read something, your wishlist is will be your savior!!
5. Give favorites a special place: If you have managed to follow the above advices, you probably have done most of what you need to do to manage your articles. You have narrowed down your interests, you have all your articles in one place and that has made your life simple. Now and then you may come across article that appealed to your soul or meticulous nature. You will often find something dear to you that you will feel to refer now and then. Give those articles a special place. If old habits of printing and pasting the article in your book works for you do that. If keeping a special page on your blog for such articles work for you do that. (Such at this). Like a fairy tail book that you loved to read when you were a kid, these favorites will be your buddy. If you are planning to write an article and need references, you may find a lot in your favorites. Some thing do deserve a special place!!

Organizing things once saves a loads of efforts in the future. You may want to keep this article in your list, just in case you need to refer to the list again. Why wait?